Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize