Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize