my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
