Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize