ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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