You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
