I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
