we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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