I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize