Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
