oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize