Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sorry about my life...
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