there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize