TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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