Redeem this text for a blowjob
you didnt know i had herpes?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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