I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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