she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
