So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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