But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
