we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
