I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
