I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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