Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
