how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
