At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
