Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
