She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
