Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
