made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!