I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
