We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
