So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
