he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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