I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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