just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
