I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
