So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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