just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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