my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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