I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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