My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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