dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
