I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
