And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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