ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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