can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dick very happy bro
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
