I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
