Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
