i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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