i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
