You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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