Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
