I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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