Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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