drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
