Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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