Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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