i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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