i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize