...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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