upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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