I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
