I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
