Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i out mim tonsoeep
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
