i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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